Thanks for writing this .... In Esquire there was this totally heartbreaking interview with Chuck about how his mom was so afraid if he came out he'd get killed. There's just a lot of history there. And a long political history of powers that be thinking that if you're not out, you must be suspect / dishonest / an enemy. Really blind!
I’m pretty active in the New Orleans writing community and this kind of subject comes up often when we start talking about the industry. I constantly try to hammer it into people that if they have aspirations of creating any sort of public platform, then they need to create a wall between their public persona and private lives. The beginning of your career is the best time to decide what you’re willing to share and what you never want to reach the public. I’ve found a lot of writers tend to shy away from this, worried about coming off as insincere or like they’re hiding something, and I think the attitudes you outlined in this piece highlight exactly why writers have this fear. The general public tends to feel entitled to every aspect of a persons life (just look at how people tore chapell roan down for demanding privacy), but ultimately a writer needs to learn to protect their private selves or else the anxiety and pressure that comes with a public platform will only magnify
I wonder if it’s generational? For many of us who came of age before social media, the private/public boundary feels essential. If I wouldn’t put it in a magazine article or newspaper interview, why would I post it online? Of course my generation has over-sharers, one of whom I read joyfully because oversharing has long been her way of being in the world, but no writer should feel pressured to put too much out there.
When I lived in Paris, I wouldn’t wear sweatpants in public (ok, I won’t wear sweatpants in public in the US either). That’s okay. There are home clothes and going out clothes, just as there are things one says at home, among friends, and things one says in public, among strangers.
I do think our generation (younger millenals to gen z) has had the barrier worn away by the relentlessness of social media in our lives. I remember being in elementary school and getting taught to never share any personal information online including our names and now it feels like internet safety has gone out the window. The day influencers started changing their usernames from cutesy random names to their full government names is the day the tide changed
I do believe that the general public has always felt a level of entitlement to public figures (for example, look at how the press and public treated George Michael after he was publically outed in the 90s), but now there’s a culture of oversharing brought on by this trend of “authenticity” we saw in the 2010s. Social media has exacerbated an issue that was already there.
I could probably write a whole essay on this topic lol so I’ll stop before I get too long winded haha
Good article. As someone who loves to see other peoples successes, I think part of the ‘why you and not me’ has to do with working your ass off and writing with discipline over time. Kind of like diet and exercise. Choices, people.
Just here to add that when I was the host of a book event for Chuck years ago he was one of the most thoughtful and kind writers I'd ever met. In the greenroom he was so quiet I wondered if I was going to have to carry the night. Little did I know that once on stage he turns into Iggy Pop!
"There is no top. The top of every mountain is the bottom of another." I recently attended the Superstars Writing Seminars conference, and this was essentially the thesis of Kevin J. Anderson's keynote. He used the metaphor of a false summit (hikers know that often, when you look ahead to see what looks like the top of the mountain only reveals from the top that the real summit is much farther on, etc.).
This might seem disheartening on its face—when you think you've "made it," there is still much more work to be done—but really, it's exciting to think that when you have one victory, there's really no limit to the many other victories you can achieve.
As to the main topic of your post, yes, gross. Thanks for speaking truth to the troll, but also, let's let the troll wither in darkness.
Well said. As a publicist I find part of what I do is help defend my writers from that kind of treatment, and in a couple of cases how to respond (or not respond) to it. I am fiercely protective of that wall between public and private -- and people need to *think* just a little bit more. I will share this post around. Thank you.
Thank you for calling out someone who is trying to gain followers by putting others down. I never understood why one writer’s success should negate another’s chances. In fact,I don’t think it does. It’s just bitterness. We’re all doing our best, until we’re not. This original article sounds like a not moment.
Tangential but sincere: I took a short online workshop from you years ago. You gave me some very incisive, practical advice that made a difference for me. So, I see you out there, helping other writers. Thank you.
As an artist I love to praise and big up anyone who takes a blank canvas and changes it to whatever is in their mind or soul, I believe to raise up not tear down , I see something much of it in the art world, people who have never tried to create anything ripping shreds of someone who has put their full ability into a piece, if you don't like it fair enough, as you say about Chucks books, don't like them read someone else but to tear someone down , especially personally not just professionally is the lowest of the low. We all swim in the mukey waters of creativity and we should be cleaning the waters for everyone not pissing in the deep end and blaming the successful kid. Peace and Love always.
Attention Traps bro they are everywhere. It's getting to the point where everyone is just trying to get reactions out of people because bad publicity is better than none.
It’s pretty scuzzy to devolve into a writer’s personal life to attack their writing, even if the attacker is punching up.
That said, publishing is not all about quality of the work. There are some excellent writers out there who are never going to make it big, through no fault of their own—except, perhaps, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, lacking connections, having things happen in their personal life that end up taking priority over the writing, being the wrong gender/race/age, and so on.
So while I agree with you about the sleaziness of the complaining writer, I strongly disagree with your assessment of the underpublished writer. Things happen. Opportunities fall through by no fault of the aspiring writer. Trends change.
Publishing is as much about timing and luck as it is merit, and that needs to be acknowledged. The “overnight success” usually has 10-15 years or more of hard work that happened first, and it’s about damned time we talk about that.
“The top of every mountain is the bottom of another.”
That line hit hard. I think writers who write for the potential of fame or success (I hate that word) will have the hardest time when they reach the top. If my day job taught me anything, it’s that things don’t get easier the more you do them/the better you are, and if you aren’t doing it for the fun of it, you’re going to be sorely disappointed for the rest of your life.
I had the exact same reaction to reading that piece. I’m so glad I came across your post. Thank you and @ellenash for vocalizing what I’ve been thinking.
Thanks for writing this .... In Esquire there was this totally heartbreaking interview with Chuck about how his mom was so afraid if he came out he'd get killed. There's just a lot of history there. And a long political history of powers that be thinking that if you're not out, you must be suspect / dishonest / an enemy. Really blind!
I saw you commented on the piece! That's why I almost jumped in!
i'm glad you wrote this instead -- more thoughtful, more people get to see it. :)
I’m pretty active in the New Orleans writing community and this kind of subject comes up often when we start talking about the industry. I constantly try to hammer it into people that if they have aspirations of creating any sort of public platform, then they need to create a wall between their public persona and private lives. The beginning of your career is the best time to decide what you’re willing to share and what you never want to reach the public. I’ve found a lot of writers tend to shy away from this, worried about coming off as insincere or like they’re hiding something, and I think the attitudes you outlined in this piece highlight exactly why writers have this fear. The general public tends to feel entitled to every aspect of a persons life (just look at how people tore chapell roan down for demanding privacy), but ultimately a writer needs to learn to protect their private selves or else the anxiety and pressure that comes with a public platform will only magnify
I wonder if it’s generational? For many of us who came of age before social media, the private/public boundary feels essential. If I wouldn’t put it in a magazine article or newspaper interview, why would I post it online? Of course my generation has over-sharers, one of whom I read joyfully because oversharing has long been her way of being in the world, but no writer should feel pressured to put too much out there.
When I lived in Paris, I wouldn’t wear sweatpants in public (ok, I won’t wear sweatpants in public in the US either). That’s okay. There are home clothes and going out clothes, just as there are things one says at home, among friends, and things one says in public, among strangers.
I do think our generation (younger millenals to gen z) has had the barrier worn away by the relentlessness of social media in our lives. I remember being in elementary school and getting taught to never share any personal information online including our names and now it feels like internet safety has gone out the window. The day influencers started changing their usernames from cutesy random names to their full government names is the day the tide changed
I do believe that the general public has always felt a level of entitlement to public figures (for example, look at how the press and public treated George Michael after he was publically outed in the 90s), but now there’s a culture of oversharing brought on by this trend of “authenticity” we saw in the 2010s. Social media has exacerbated an issue that was already there.
I could probably write a whole essay on this topic lol so I’ll stop before I get too long winded haha
Good article. As someone who loves to see other peoples successes, I think part of the ‘why you and not me’ has to do with working your ass off and writing with discipline over time. Kind of like diet and exercise. Choices, people.
Just here to add that when I was the host of a book event for Chuck years ago he was one of the most thoughtful and kind writers I'd ever met. In the greenroom he was so quiet I wondered if I was going to have to carry the night. Little did I know that once on stage he turns into Iggy Pop!
"There is no top. The top of every mountain is the bottom of another." I recently attended the Superstars Writing Seminars conference, and this was essentially the thesis of Kevin J. Anderson's keynote. He used the metaphor of a false summit (hikers know that often, when you look ahead to see what looks like the top of the mountain only reveals from the top that the real summit is much farther on, etc.).
This might seem disheartening on its face—when you think you've "made it," there is still much more work to be done—but really, it's exciting to think that when you have one victory, there's really no limit to the many other victories you can achieve.
As to the main topic of your post, yes, gross. Thanks for speaking truth to the troll, but also, let's let the troll wither in darkness.
Well said. As a publicist I find part of what I do is help defend my writers from that kind of treatment, and in a couple of cases how to respond (or not respond) to it. I am fiercely protective of that wall between public and private -- and people need to *think* just a little bit more. I will share this post around. Thank you.
Thank you for calling out someone who is trying to gain followers by putting others down. I never understood why one writer’s success should negate another’s chances. In fact,I don’t think it does. It’s just bitterness. We’re all doing our best, until we’re not. This original article sounds like a not moment.
Tangential but sincere: I took a short online workshop from you years ago. You gave me some very incisive, practical advice that made a difference for me. So, I see you out there, helping other writers. Thank you.
As an artist I love to praise and big up anyone who takes a blank canvas and changes it to whatever is in their mind or soul, I believe to raise up not tear down , I see something much of it in the art world, people who have never tried to create anything ripping shreds of someone who has put their full ability into a piece, if you don't like it fair enough, as you say about Chucks books, don't like them read someone else but to tear someone down , especially personally not just professionally is the lowest of the low. We all swim in the mukey waters of creativity and we should be cleaning the waters for everyone not pissing in the deep end and blaming the successful kid. Peace and Love always.
Well said.
Attention Traps bro they are everywhere. It's getting to the point where everyone is just trying to get reactions out of people because bad publicity is better than none.
It’s pretty scuzzy to devolve into a writer’s personal life to attack their writing, even if the attacker is punching up.
That said, publishing is not all about quality of the work. There are some excellent writers out there who are never going to make it big, through no fault of their own—except, perhaps, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, lacking connections, having things happen in their personal life that end up taking priority over the writing, being the wrong gender/race/age, and so on.
So while I agree with you about the sleaziness of the complaining writer, I strongly disagree with your assessment of the underpublished writer. Things happen. Opportunities fall through by no fault of the aspiring writer. Trends change.
Publishing is as much about timing and luck as it is merit, and that needs to be acknowledged. The “overnight success” usually has 10-15 years or more of hard work that happened first, and it’s about damned time we talk about that.
Loved this. Totally agree.
“The top of every mountain is the bottom of another.”
That line hit hard. I think writers who write for the potential of fame or success (I hate that word) will have the hardest time when they reach the top. If my day job taught me anything, it’s that things don’t get easier the more you do them/the better you are, and if you aren’t doing it for the fun of it, you’re going to be sorely disappointed for the rest of your life.
You said everything I was thinking about this. Thank you.
I had the exact same reaction to reading that piece. I’m so glad I came across your post. Thank you and @ellenash for vocalizing what I’ve been thinking.